Friday Hari Raya Haji

Finally i can blog. it suddenly blackout when i checked through my emails, nothing but a full junk of Facebook updates.
i woke up with terrible ache on my left head. i could feel the pounding artery calling for PCM. So i took 2 tablets. thank God it slowly disappears after 30min. fuuu... my life is so dependent on PCM. i just can't do anything when the headache attacks me. It is like every week i have this aching pain on my head. become less talkative, can't concentrate. N this really worries me.. For sure during HO, there will be a damn heavy workloads n sleep deprivation.. Mentally i am fit for such stress, but not my head.. Once the pain come, my entire body just switched off.. huhu..
Belinda my roomate must be having fun with other church members in Sematan for the Empowered Camp organized by St. Joe. So jelous.. Ken, Hwei Sung, n Grace must be otw to Gunung Gading now.. arghhh.... left me here in apartment 217, lot 77 Kuching, stuck with my patient interview preparation.. Arghh!! I supposed to be with the 3 fellows right now!!! I left with no choice but to sacrifice my weekend Gunung Gading plan for my case presentation.. if it were not for Prof. Fadzillah, i would have joined them!!!
I hope the sacrifice would not turn out to be a wrong decision. I Hope Hung Hung Inn cafe is open today. Today is a public holiday for hari raya haji. i made the appointment with my patient in the cafe. If it close, i'll be dead meat. Where else m i gonna take him? it is not like i have a car. i choose Hung Hung Inn cuz i can walk there.
God, i pray that everything will run smoothly today.. Hope i can dig as much as i can from him regarding his depression symptoms. My problem now is that the patient is a follow-up patient in SGH, which means he doesn't have chief complaint. How on earth am i to present a MDD case to PROF. FADZILLAH without a chief complaint. he will screw me up man. Worse come to worse, i'll just create my own. that's what medical students do right... confabulating stories, make it a nice one.. :)
mm.. later i have to treat the patient makan. Thanx God i have some extra money now. if not, how to belanja? im not complaining, but it is a token to the patients who willing to tell their secret, spend their time for us to do a case study.
But some patients take advatange of this. Just like my previous Case write up patient, who asked me RM50. he said he wanted to borrow n will pay me when he gets his pay. Hello??? Do u think i am a fool? just because his age n mine do not differ much n he thinks that he could bully me? i may look weak cuz i am not good in saying "NO", but hey, i knew what was the intention inside ur brain. i hate being fooled by a fool. N i hate myself for not be able to tell lie on the spot. my words will be shaky, n i pause few times to give the reasons.
Well,Honesty can be our strength n our weakness as well.
thinking of going to saberkas after the interview, provided the weather allows me n i am not tired to walk another km. Saberkas is my only entertainment n place to relieve my stress.. Sounds so pitiful.. But what can i do.. My life is limited without a car n a boyfriend besides me.. Sad.. When will i have one?
But having no car has it funs too. i can feel to sit in different cars when i ask for a lift from friends. Vios, kancil, Viva,n kumar's car, forget what kind of car is his. hehe. But thanx to all of my friends.. U dunno how much it means for us who dun have a car, get a lift from u all. U dunno how much suffer we have been through without car. I walked from my rented house in Sibu to the hospital everyday under the scorching heat of the mighty sun. Sweating, dehydrating my skin, stimulating the oil gland to supply more oil to the skin, but excessively, n finally my face burst out into ugly-looking pimples.. N how troublesome it is to call everyone just to ask whether they go to hosp, what time r they going, n asking whether we can follow them. N there r times when they just don't go to the hosp, n we have no choice but not to go as well. We have to follow their schedule. Sometimes it gets so frustrating that my tears fall. Just could not help myslef. feel like my life is so dependent on others. Feel so disabled. U rich ppl will not know how it feels. But we poor ppl do. N we appreciate those who are very considerate bout us, willing to give us a ride. I am not complaining. But i look it in a positive way. Though i have none, but i give thanx to God for those who have. I give thanx to the Most High for the fortune other ppl have but i don't. Thanx.. only God can returns ur good deeds. I dun regret for what i dun have right now. Cuz i am pretty sure, i can achieve that by my own, my own, n my own efforts. It is more meaningful, isn't it? There is no gain without pain, they said. n it is so true.