These are the work targets that I have to shoot off before next Friday:
- 3 Case Write Ups
- Yet to be counted Case Summaries
- Forensic Report
- Hostel Essay
My brain and my physical body are just too exhausted tonight, after whole day being in the hospital standing, walking around seeing patients, practising physical examination that I am now still can't master it, then a BST session with Prof. Anam.
I weighed myself just now. The scale points to 46.5kg. I dun like the .5 at the back, so I round it up. SO... It turns to------> 47kg!!! Yeah, I am now 47kg!!! Great Weizen! Good work weizen!
I was also maintained my kg number to be 45. Ever since I want to save my money on food and decided to cook myself, I started to gain weight. Weird right? It is not actually. Because when I cook, I tend to cook more than what my stomach can actually accommodate, afraid that I might not have enough if I cook less. So I always have an extra. The problem when I cook, whether it tastes nice or taste like shit, I always love the food that I dun have the heart to throw it. Because there are times that I really run out of money and I have to survive for 2 weeks just with rm50, and it teaches me how precious food is when u r in hunger and poverty. At the end, I had to finish it all. ANd that's how I gain those extra kg..
I just dunno why, there is always an opposite force inside of me that whenever I feel like what to do something, often, it is the contrary that I do.
Like, I wanna lose weight. And I told myself not to devour like giant, just eat when hungry and moderately. Dun eat and then just sleep.
But guess what? Instead, I eat, eat, eat! I eat my heart out, like there is no tomorrow. I eat greedily. Even though at times when I actually not hungry, the food is always in my mind that it triggers me to look for it everywhere, in the fridge, whatever I have, biscuits, keropok, and the killing fat-storing chocolate! This happens especially when I study at home. I just cant sit sill and focus my damn attention to the book. Every few minutes my mind will drop by the food section and ask, what to eat ah? feel like want to eat la.. And I just can't control the reflex that comes after it, my feet will automatically stand up and walk out the room towards the fridge and my eyes fiercely look for any food that I can eat at that moment.
But so weird that when I study at library or anywhere outside the room when there is time that I have to kill by studying, my impulse for food is not that strong. I guess this is psychological. I am so in my comfort zone whenever I am in my room, studying on my own table with my belongings and the FOOD around me. Because I can simply eat while studying, and whenever I am tired of reading I can just hit the pillow and throw myself onto the bed, at anytime I want! Whereas outside the room like in the library, obviously I can't pamper myself too much like what I do in the room. Eating? feel so malu ma, this girl itu mulut tidak pandai berenti, makan saja dari tadi. that's what people will say in their mind if they see me eat and eat. And if get tired, I bviously can't simply sleep on the table, it s embarrassing!
What I am saying is that, We have to have the force to move, to resist the unwanted. Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to make ourselves better. Because it is the force that pressure us from outside makes us want to fight it back, and improve ourselves at the same time.
Just like today in the morning, I supposed to have a class at 8am. So I woke up at around 6.30am and got myself ready and had some light breakfast, and plan to do some reading since I have a lot more to read about orthopaedics. By the time I got myself ready, it was already 7.15am, and I feel like what?! So fast?! Means I have only 30 min to read?! I need to read first before I go to the class! and so I quickly set my mind and focusing on the reading. Not long after that I received a sms from our group leader that our class postponed to half an hour later. From a focusing concentrating me, my mind become lax, and the attention slow down and start to turn to other things like looking at the mirror to make my hair, opened up my Window Media Player to play some songs, popping into facebook! The focus had already lost! This is typical human being right? when given just a little bit freedom, we tend to deviate ourselves from the main target. Only when we are under pressure that we can really set our brain, mind, heart and soul to something that we are forced to work on. If it was not for the Sms, I might have just guai guai studying..
Aii... I am no special, just another typical human being that always find excuse to work. Accept me.
I weighed myself just now. The scale points to 46.5kg. I dun like the .5 at the back, so I round it up. SO... It turns to------> 47kg!!! Yeah, I am now 47kg!!! Great Weizen! Good work weizen!
I was also maintained my kg number to be 45. Ever since I want to save my money on food and decided to cook myself, I started to gain weight. Weird right? It is not actually. Because when I cook, I tend to cook more than what my stomach can actually accommodate, afraid that I might not have enough if I cook less. So I always have an extra. The problem when I cook, whether it tastes nice or taste like shit, I always love the food that I dun have the heart to throw it. Because there are times that I really run out of money and I have to survive for 2 weeks just with rm50, and it teaches me how precious food is when u r in hunger and poverty. At the end, I had to finish it all. ANd that's how I gain those extra kg..
I just dunno why, there is always an opposite force inside of me that whenever I feel like what to do something, often, it is the contrary that I do.
Like, I wanna lose weight. And I told myself not to devour like giant, just eat when hungry and moderately. Dun eat and then just sleep.
But guess what? Instead, I eat, eat, eat! I eat my heart out, like there is no tomorrow. I eat greedily. Even though at times when I actually not hungry, the food is always in my mind that it triggers me to look for it everywhere, in the fridge, whatever I have, biscuits, keropok, and the killing fat-storing chocolate! This happens especially when I study at home. I just cant sit sill and focus my damn attention to the book. Every few minutes my mind will drop by the food section and ask, what to eat ah? feel like want to eat la.. And I just can't control the reflex that comes after it, my feet will automatically stand up and walk out the room towards the fridge and my eyes fiercely look for any food that I can eat at that moment.
But so weird that when I study at library or anywhere outside the room when there is time that I have to kill by studying, my impulse for food is not that strong. I guess this is psychological. I am so in my comfort zone whenever I am in my room, studying on my own table with my belongings and the FOOD around me. Because I can simply eat while studying, and whenever I am tired of reading I can just hit the pillow and throw myself onto the bed, at anytime I want! Whereas outside the room like in the library, obviously I can't pamper myself too much like what I do in the room. Eating? feel so malu ma, this girl itu mulut tidak pandai berenti, makan saja dari tadi. that's what people will say in their mind if they see me eat and eat. And if get tired, I bviously can't simply sleep on the table, it s embarrassing!
What I am saying is that, We have to have the force to move, to resist the unwanted. Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to make ourselves better. Because it is the force that pressure us from outside makes us want to fight it back, and improve ourselves at the same time.
Just like today in the morning, I supposed to have a class at 8am. So I woke up at around 6.30am and got myself ready and had some light breakfast, and plan to do some reading since I have a lot more to read about orthopaedics. By the time I got myself ready, it was already 7.15am, and I feel like what?! So fast?! Means I have only 30 min to read?! I need to read first before I go to the class! and so I quickly set my mind and focusing on the reading. Not long after that I received a sms from our group leader that our class postponed to half an hour later. From a focusing concentrating me, my mind become lax, and the attention slow down and start to turn to other things like looking at the mirror to make my hair, opened up my Window Media Player to play some songs, popping into facebook! The focus had already lost! This is typical human being right? when given just a little bit freedom, we tend to deviate ourselves from the main target. Only when we are under pressure that we can really set our brain, mind, heart and soul to something that we are forced to work on. If it was not for the Sms, I might have just guai guai studying..
Aii... I am no special, just another typical human being that always find excuse to work. Accept me.
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