Don't know how to describe the feelings I have now, in my heart. It just feel heavy. I am becoming lack of word, my vocabulary is exhausting.
I feel more comfortable to just let my mind drift away. Looking through people, with weak blink. Listening to the background noice. keep my breathing slow and shallow.
Looking for a spot in sandakan to stop my car. A spot with no building, no roof, no people, just nature. I am missing the beach.
Wonder if there is a place for star gazing here..
Desperate for fresh air.
Everyday I am trapped in a building looking after sick child, trying to satisfy and do what the boss says, and when I leave that place, the sun has already on its way back to his dwelling, place. Everyday is tiring. Everyday I meet the same people, talking about medical stuff, discussing about patients, say goodbye just to meet them again and do the same thing the next day. Colleagues and friends are different.
This everyday routine makes me numb and numb-er each day.
It is not about the work. But the life.
Need friends that I can laugh with, talk with, lean my head with no physical boundary.
. Miss the old time when the girls are sharing the same bed chit chatting, gossiping, shopping.
So much to share. So much to tell. But no one. Cuz not simply anyone can. Only those I have faith with.