got it.

forced myself to sleep last night. bring all the heartache with me. with the hope of leavibg it behind the dream, and come back alive freshed.

was waitin to talk, chat, like before.

but I do not know how to.

try to think some (rather lousy) excuses, but none.

and I am so cowardice.

at last I saw him there, the list of ppl with the green light beside their names.

ok. Available.

tot he would responded like how I would.

but it was totally upside down. totally white and balck. just like his and mine.

I ve made tha courageous move to initiate.

but, when ppl asnwer u, one after ur question, and it takes them half hour to reply.

you just know what it means.

the conclusion with the chat and his weird cold behaviours, the green lover aint interested in me.

I tot weizy, the watch lover said "Sabahan girls are not my type"

might be wrong but I feel that the peroduo owner doesnt like me. doesnt like not as in doesnt like, but kinda-hate like doesnt like.

hmmm may be because im so blunt in words and actions.

I think he thinks that I like someone else.

and he thinks that I think that he likes someone else.

so everyone backs off.

so everyone gives way.

and both are... what can I say? Fool.

and I dont think I can erase that.

damage is there.

gonna stop sayin things.

gonna (try) stop looking for him, his car, his voice. evrything.

but gonna steal his positiveness and bring into my life.

his enthusiasm.

his way of thinking.

his friendliness.

his kindness.

I will try.

just go on with my lil life here.