~phewww~
I almost missed the flight back to KayKay.
Woke up at 8.10. Left home 8.47am. Flight depart at 9.10am.
Great!
Counter closed by the time I reached airport. So I have to run with my (fortunately) wheeled -luggage in one hand, and another 2big bags( full of chocs :) in another hand.
I felt like a princess, cuz I was the last person to go in. everyone seems to wait for me....
**kedebab** --> punching myself on the face (OOouuurrchhh!!!)
Who cares? I am here in kk already. That s most important.
Another hour, to fly back to sandakan, a place full with PTI.
having and enjoying McD brwakfast set. Like always, I order the one comes with pancakes.
Sheep likes McD too! Sheep?? Yes sheeep! Hehe. Hmm Sheep is bad.
Well, thought of goin to the Starbucks initially. But KK Airport Starbuck is in the international departure hall, far from the domestic one that im goin in.
Since mcD also comes with coffee, well let s just drop by.
Wow! Sheep can text too! Cuz I just got one. Wahahaha..
Hmmm... Though time flies, I enjoyed my past 1week holiday.
Away from the hospital. Away from the sicks. Away from the routine adrenaline rush, the pressure that comes with it.
And I thank the hosp so much for not bugging me during my vacation. But hey! Wait! I think there was, a call from the hosp! But I missed that call. But luckily they didnt call back. Hehehe..
At least I have a space for my own. Havent really pampered myself so much like I did last week.
Penang trip was fun. so nice to hang out with a group of girlfrens. Telling story of how pathethic of still not having someone special in our lives! Wahahaha..
Ya.. All 4 of us are still single! Haha. Too expensive? Or may be there is none that is interested even to buy at the first place. Sigh... And there are just something in common, I believe, with the four of us. We dont simply date man. Only those who deserve us.
Bla bla bla... And that s the reason why we still alone. Wahahha..
And it was so nice having Hashvina to play with my hair while we re chitchating.
I love ppl touch my hair, feel so pampered.
If mommy is still around, would she do that to me?
I think she would, cuz I would bug her!
Hmmm.... 10years ya? And tears never gone dry this one decade. Still fresh.
im gonna make a poem for u. Telling u what s inside.
Ok. Lets get ur life a bit organized weizy!
I have been living aimless life that depends so much on my feelings.
Clear up ur mind. Hey weizy, where is the old u?!
Dont be so pathethic. We live life once. So live it to the fullest Weizy!
Enough with the frustration, dissapointments, sadness.
it is meant to be inside the package. Get out of the box weizy, and discover how beautiful life is put there!
How beautiful the flowers are, they dont think what to wear, what to eat, cuz Father up there knows what to do with them. they just grow beautiful.
Oh no! Almost 11. Dont wana be late AGAIN!
Gotta finish this later.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Dark chocholate
Weizen has been naughty lately.
I guess, it is just a part of me that I have negleted for so long.
And when it is released, it rebounds badly.
Many people dont know that I can be very, very naughty, chicky.
:)
It is just matter of time, place and people.
Well, some moments in life is just tempting, which,
Once tasted, becomes an addiction.
We just want more and more.
We know it is bad, or at least we aware that it bears no fruits.
But it just tastes so sweet that we dont mind about what may happen next.
That is when, a sane mind comes into help.
Cuz at times, heart fails to function. As it is so subjected to feelings.
Heart always deceited by emotions, feelings.
But a sane mind doesnt.
So next time, tho I know I would definitely fall for it, but I hope my mind will limit it and minimize the consequences.
I guess, it is just a part of me that I have negleted for so long.
And when it is released, it rebounds badly.
Many people dont know that I can be very, very naughty, chicky.
:)
It is just matter of time, place and people.
Well, some moments in life is just tempting, which,
Once tasted, becomes an addiction.
We just want more and more.
We know it is bad, or at least we aware that it bears no fruits.
But it just tastes so sweet that we dont mind about what may happen next.
That is when, a sane mind comes into help.
Cuz at times, heart fails to function. As it is so subjected to feelings.
Heart always deceited by emotions, feelings.
But a sane mind doesnt.
So next time, tho I know I would definitely fall for it, but I hope my mind will limit it and minimize the consequences.
Wrong women..wrong crowd. All wrong. Seriously, r u blind?
Argghhh! Seriously this really test my patience.
I begin to question, what is wrong with me?
Am I speaking greek?
Or are you deaf?
Am I transparent?
Or are you blind?
Ive done my part.
And nothing s from u.
Zero.
Poor u. Cant even buy the standard. thats y all the wrong ones?
Gonna retreat back to my dwelling place. Away from u.
Cant bear to stand there but not to be seen at all.
Cant stand to see being surrounded by the wrong crowds.
But since u like it that way. Go ahead.
Not want to hear anything about u.
Not a bit.
Hmm.. Not gonna stop u.
Go ahead.
I dont beg. And I dont prohibit.
Fly, fly, fly, fly...
Wherever u want to be.
And I...
Will watch from far (weizy... U still care, dont u)
I begin to question, what is wrong with me?
Am I speaking greek?
Or are you deaf?
Am I transparent?
Or are you blind?
Ive done my part.
And nothing s from u.
Zero.
Poor u. Cant even buy the standard. thats y all the wrong ones?
Gonna retreat back to my dwelling place. Away from u.
Cant bear to stand there but not to be seen at all.
Cant stand to see being surrounded by the wrong crowds.
But since u like it that way. Go ahead.
Not want to hear anything about u.
Not a bit.
Hmm.. Not gonna stop u.
Go ahead.
I dont beg. And I dont prohibit.
Fly, fly, fly, fly...
Wherever u want to be.
And I...
Will watch from far (weizy... U still care, dont u)
Grrr
Grrrr... Feeling so impatient. So angry!
U r so mean!
:(
Ok. I ll keep quiet. Away from the crowd surrounding u.
U r so mean!
:(
Ok. I ll keep quiet. Away from the crowd surrounding u.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Feel sorry, and I feel bad
Yes very much I do.
For not being honest when there s someone who care to be honest with me.
But I cant help it..
It is just my nature, my spinal reflex.
To run, as far as I can, and hide.
When I feel danger.
When I feel my boundary of privacy is crossed.
When someone knows the meaning behind my words.
When someone can read my body language.
When someone can read my mind.
No, no, no.
No one can do that!
Cuz if there is, if there ever is, he must be a very special someone.
Cuz I speak through silence.
And no one can canversate through silence, unless he bears the same wave of frequency as mine.
I dont mean to be rude boy.
Dont mean to tell lies.
And that s the reason why, I guess, I never be found.
Cuz I just love to run and hide.
And I do not like to play with fire. Been burnt alive enough.
If only someone can understand this.. Cuz I just dont meant to hurt.
For not being honest when there s someone who care to be honest with me.
But I cant help it..
It is just my nature, my spinal reflex.
To run, as far as I can, and hide.
When I feel danger.
When I feel my boundary of privacy is crossed.
When someone knows the meaning behind my words.
When someone can read my body language.
When someone can read my mind.
No, no, no.
No one can do that!
Cuz if there is, if there ever is, he must be a very special someone.
Cuz I speak through silence.
And no one can canversate through silence, unless he bears the same wave of frequency as mine.
I dont mean to be rude boy.
Dont mean to tell lies.
And that s the reason why, I guess, I never be found.
Cuz I just love to run and hide.
And I do not like to play with fire. Been burnt alive enough.
If only someone can understand this.. Cuz I just dont meant to hurt.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Not gonna play with u boy
Decided not to be fooled. Not to be hurt.
Too many in ur list.
So I will just walk, away.
Heart failure, indeed ya! Finally CME finished. Done with it.
Hope I wont be extended in Medical. If I wont, then I only have a few more days left.
Cant wait for my week off. But as usual, i do not where to go.
Ticket to kl gonna be expensive. Havent checked it out though.
But am so tempted with the offer to Lang Tengah.
How I miss the beach so much. I have been thinking what would I wear to the beach!
Oh can I just jump into the water! Or rolling myself on the soft sandy beach?
Someone has promised me long ago that he would bring me to the beach, and star gazing.
Mm, never got the chance..
Weizen, for once and for all, please forget him.
Too many in ur list.
So I will just walk, away.
Heart failure, indeed ya! Finally CME finished. Done with it.
Hope I wont be extended in Medical. If I wont, then I only have a few more days left.
Cant wait for my week off. But as usual, i do not where to go.
Ticket to kl gonna be expensive. Havent checked it out though.
But am so tempted with the offer to Lang Tengah.
How I miss the beach so much. I have been thinking what would I wear to the beach!
Oh can I just jump into the water! Or rolling myself on the soft sandy beach?
Someone has promised me long ago that he would bring me to the beach, and star gazing.
Mm, never got the chance..
Weizen, for once and for all, please forget him.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Perishable
Today everything seems not right. Everything hoes wrong.
And I am exhauseted being worry, being pressured, in fear.
Screwed up. Messed up.
But y dont I have any feeling now? Too numb.
Tired of trying to satisfy the one above u, and got messed up.
Really I am tired...
that, I have run out of space worrying what will happen next.
Well, at least half of the burden emotionally borne on my heart had been released by the fall of my tears.
Sometimes we just need to cry.
Cry our heart out. And what a relief after that!
Well, as I said, as I never failed to believe, God is fair.
He knows that I am strong that he givese all these.
And he doesnt leve me alone.
He sprinkles some sweet remedy when I was dealing with my hard time.
It was sweet that I laugh in between.
And thanx to the face mask again.
Hehhehehe.
Popped into my own world, smile at myself.
But hmmm, as wut it usually happen, the sweetness doesnt last long
Sometimes, it ends abruptly.
Gets me manic.
Gets me a heartache, not literally, but physically.
It is up and down, the feeling is like u r riding on a roller coster.
Though it might be quite fun, chill, adventerous.
I prefer a quite life, not rolling in between two extremes.
I am afraid to love, cause I am fear of losing.
I ask myself, if I dont love, I wont lose.
And I just couldnt agree more.
But what is life without love.
It is pathetic.
I guess we both bear something in common.
and I am trying hard not to be noticed.
Tryinh hard to be cool.
Cuz I dun wanna start something I cant commit. or contributr to its start.
Cuz I know, it just a transient, mortal, perishable, feelings....
And I am exhauseted being worry, being pressured, in fear.
Screwed up. Messed up.
But y dont I have any feeling now? Too numb.
Tired of trying to satisfy the one above u, and got messed up.
Really I am tired...
that, I have run out of space worrying what will happen next.
Well, at least half of the burden emotionally borne on my heart had been released by the fall of my tears.
Sometimes we just need to cry.
Cry our heart out. And what a relief after that!
Well, as I said, as I never failed to believe, God is fair.
He knows that I am strong that he givese all these.
And he doesnt leve me alone.
He sprinkles some sweet remedy when I was dealing with my hard time.
It was sweet that I laugh in between.
And thanx to the face mask again.
Hehhehehe.
Popped into my own world, smile at myself.
But hmmm, as wut it usually happen, the sweetness doesnt last long
Sometimes, it ends abruptly.
Gets me manic.
Gets me a heartache, not literally, but physically.
It is up and down, the feeling is like u r riding on a roller coster.
Though it might be quite fun, chill, adventerous.
I prefer a quite life, not rolling in between two extremes.
I am afraid to love, cause I am fear of losing.
I ask myself, if I dont love, I wont lose.
And I just couldnt agree more.
But what is life without love.
It is pathetic.
I guess we both bear something in common.
and I am trying hard not to be noticed.
Tryinh hard to be cool.
Cuz I dun wanna start something I cant commit. or contributr to its start.
Cuz I know, it just a transient, mortal, perishable, feelings....
Monday, March 5, 2012
Morning review
Here I am.
In the living room, havin my breakfast alone. My housemate is sleeping soundly upstair.
It s Monday blue, hectic MOnday.. Anticipating a very busy one.
Well, that's not of my concern at the moment.
Work will never finish anyhow. It flows like a river.
Feeling a bit down. Everyday is a loney day.
Seriously I need someone I can rely upon during times like this.
Some one I can laugh out loud with.
Some one I can share with.
Some one I can relieve my anger at, when I need to (hehehe)
Oh Lord...
Send me at least one human that can be my bestfren here...
All my bestfrens have their own lives, with their other halves. One soon will produce one baby human.
And I am here, all by myself.
Why should my aura cold like ice? At least that s what ppl feel, I guess.
Why cant I seem not to get along with my own species well, the girls, compared to the guys?
Is it because I am the only princess among the princes in my family?
I think it is just my personality. Something that is hard to change.
And why should I admire from far, from a distance?
It always get me palpatation, laughing alone.
It is fun. Cause I am admiring someone who doesnt know that I secretely do..
Or may be he knows? Oh shit!
this, I can never trust myself!
Weizy sometimes is just too naive..
I wish I can be a better actress!
Cuz I always embarass myself in front of someone I admire so much.
Well, I think sometimes body speaks better language than the lips.
I just hope that he is deaf to what my body is speaking.
but hey, it is not something that I can control!
I can have a courage like a strong man has.
But in front of someone I like, I automatically turn into a small rat..
I am just too shy to face him.... (laughing)
And when I get shy, and nervous in front of him, my adrenaline pump becomes stronger.
And I blush. That, that is something I cant hide ok!
And that is the reasom why face mask is very ideal..
Hahahaa ( I m laughing like a pig now)
Whahahahahahah..
Silly weizy. Sometimes feel like knocking my head onto the wall, or immerse my face down the water.
Well, that s part of my entertainment here...
Almost 5, I havent got my pants ironed yet!
Ciau!
In the living room, havin my breakfast alone. My housemate is sleeping soundly upstair.
It s Monday blue, hectic MOnday.. Anticipating a very busy one.
Well, that's not of my concern at the moment.
Work will never finish anyhow. It flows like a river.
Feeling a bit down. Everyday is a loney day.
Seriously I need someone I can rely upon during times like this.
Some one I can laugh out loud with.
Some one I can share with.
Some one I can relieve my anger at, when I need to (hehehe)
Oh Lord...
Send me at least one human that can be my bestfren here...
All my bestfrens have their own lives, with their other halves. One soon will produce one baby human.
And I am here, all by myself.
Why should my aura cold like ice? At least that s what ppl feel, I guess.
Why cant I seem not to get along with my own species well, the girls, compared to the guys?
Is it because I am the only princess among the princes in my family?
I think it is just my personality. Something that is hard to change.
And why should I admire from far, from a distance?
It always get me palpatation, laughing alone.
It is fun. Cause I am admiring someone who doesnt know that I secretely do..
Or may be he knows? Oh shit!
this, I can never trust myself!
Weizy sometimes is just too naive..
I wish I can be a better actress!
Cuz I always embarass myself in front of someone I admire so much.
Well, I think sometimes body speaks better language than the lips.
I just hope that he is deaf to what my body is speaking.
but hey, it is not something that I can control!
I can have a courage like a strong man has.
But in front of someone I like, I automatically turn into a small rat..
I am just too shy to face him.... (laughing)
And when I get shy, and nervous in front of him, my adrenaline pump becomes stronger.
And I blush. That, that is something I cant hide ok!
And that is the reasom why face mask is very ideal..
Hahahaa ( I m laughing like a pig now)
Whahahahahahah..
Silly weizy. Sometimes feel like knocking my head onto the wall, or immerse my face down the water.
Well, that s part of my entertainment here...
Almost 5, I havent got my pants ironed yet!
Ciau!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
one
"Not quick to judge"?
I dont think so.
You do.
Just like everyone else.
Waiting for one who doesnt.
One who knows what he wants, and determined by all means to get it.
Not a try-and-error.
Not a doubtful.
Not a coward.
One, whom He is in favor.
I dont think so.
You do.
Just like everyone else.
Waiting for one who doesnt.
One who knows what he wants, and determined by all means to get it.
Not a try-and-error.
Not a doubtful.
Not a coward.
One, whom He is in favor.
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